It was Tuesday morning, I went to school in my white dress as usual. Playing, gossiping, and laughing with my friends at school, everything was so good but suddenly I was scared. My friends told me that there was a red stain on my skirt but I didn’t know why. I went to my home crying and my mummy saw me. I had not uttered a single word yet but my mummy looked at my skirt and suddenly said in a loud voice “जा गएर बाहिर बस् त नक्षुने भैक्षस”. I was very angry. I could not understand why I had to stay outside when everyone was celebrating puja inside. I was alone in my room crying and waiting for my mom. She entered the room and shouted at me, saying I should not sit in my bed. I was totally outraged. My mom kept on adding how I should behave for the next 7 days. Suddenly I could not sleep in my bed, I could not use the same bathroom, and I could not eat with my family. I had to leave my room and live in a dark room that had no access to electricity. I went to the room and cried my heart out. It was all dark and dusty. I questioned my existence in that room.
My PARENTS loved me a lot but I didn’t understand why I was suddenly forced to live in a dark and dusty room. My journey of seven days began in that room. I could not go leave my room because I was not even allowed to look at the sun. My confidence was slowly going down and I did not want to do anything in life. I started to write my thoughts in my notebook which helped me to stay calm. I wrote “मम्मी मलाई थाहाछ तपाइले मलाई एकदमै माया गर्नु हुन्छ। तर तपाइले किन मलाई यो कोठामा राख्नु भएको? मलाई यहाँ एकदमै डर लाग्छ। मलाई पिलिज़ आफु सँग लैजानुन।
Now I am an adult and when I looked at my same dairy this morning I thought it was so brave of me to handle all that situation at that very young age. I thought about all those young adolescent girls who could not handle these sudden drastic changes in their life and did self-harm. Also about thousands of adolescent girls who are facing the same situation even after a decade, I faced those. I questioned myself who is responsible for this in our society, our parents who are part of the same society, or me who accepted everything my mom said without a question?